Haley Joel Osment

Haley Joel Osment was an affecting child star. There was that nice performance in Forrest Gump and his reputation-making role in The Sixth Sense. I think it had something to do with his mouth. It looked a little too small for his face, which inevitably has the effect of making you look young and innocent.

It now turns out that he is a repulsive adult. Nabbed by the police because he was drunk and disorderly, he pulled a full Mel Gibson as he was being hauled away. First there was the part about being the famous Haley Joel Osment, and how the police would regret having treated him roughly.

Then, inevitably, he went crazy anti-Semitic (?!). I don’t know why they do this, but inevitably they do. None of the reports mentions exactly what he said, but that’s what happens when your p.r. team swoops in. There must be a special training course for public relations flaks whose clients erupt in anti-Semitic obscenities. Especially actors. Especially in California. It would be like walking into a compound of white supremacists and preaching the gospel of multicultural internationalism. I’m guessing it was something like “kikes” or “yids,” but it could just as easily have been “effing Jews.”

But soon enough Haley Joel was in retreat. Not so much atonement as damage control. First the defense that he was out of his mind. It wasn’t me; it was the blackout (fentanyl, alcohol, cannabis, whatever). And then the acknowledgement that he had crossed the line: “But that's no excuse for using this disgusting word.” It’s all so boring, so tedious, so predictable. Soon he’ll be speaking with a Holocaust survivor.

And then—inevitably—the word salad closer: “From the bottom of my heart, I apologize to absolutely everyone that this hurts. What came out of my mouth was nonsensical garbage - I've let the Jewish community down and it devastates me. I don't ask for anyone’s forgiveness, but I promise to atone for my terrible mistake."

Notice the distancing and the self-flagellation, the florid abnegation, the exaggerated self-loathing. Notice that Haley begs for forgiveness even at the moment he pushes it away. And notice that he will try forever to make amends until, of course, he is drunk again. That’s classic Mel Gibson in a roadside eruption. When you’re an arrogant, angry, latent anti-Semite, “kikes” will never be far from the surface.

Message to Haley: you didn’t let me down. For me, you actually don’t exist. My image of myself, my people, and my tradition doesn’t depend a whit on what you think. Your views of Jews are vicious and meaningless and reflect only on you, your racism, and your anger. I hope I don’t hear about you ever again. That goes for you and Mel and Ye; keep your false promises of sorrow and atonement and stick them up where the sun don’t shine. I’ll be just fine without your tiny little words, and the clamorous confusion of your tiny little mouth.

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