We Wish You a Merry Christmas

Jews are notoriously tetchy about Christmas greetings. We don’t like it when people assume we’re Christians, thirsty to participate in the ambient celebration. That’s the way it is with minorities. Say the wrong thing and we’ll never forgive you. Kidding!

I hardly ever run into this myself. Despite the rebellion against the supposed language of wokeness, most people seem eager to be seen as considerate. I don’t think I present as obviously Jewish (no caftan, no sidelocks, no identifying signage), but I’m surprised when someone departs from “Happy Holidays.” It feels like we’ve arrived at a reasonable accommodation. Unless you know something about a person’s commitments, it’s just nicer to convey the blessings of the season as opposed to pigeonholing someone you may not know and introducing assumptions that may not be true. For Midwesterners, the rule has less to do with wokeness as it is rooted in the ethic of mutual regard. As all of us would say, it’s nicer to be nice.

But even if someone slips, it’s not the end of the world. I don’t think of a greeting as an assault on my ethnicity. It’s invariably offered as a social nicety, fueled by the general good humor of December. I caution anyone from going crazy. When someone wishes me a Merry Christmas, I smile with pleasure and say, “Actually, I’m a Chanukah person.” No lectures on triumphalism; no War of the Worlds. Just a gentle reminder that we’re all plugged in differently and I’m glad to be known a little more fully than my appearances.

And then I try to be careful with the closer: “But I’m really happy to wish you the same. Have a very merry Christmas, and a happy New Year.” That’s because the person who greeted me is probably a Christmas person, as evidenced by the language she used with me. At that point it makes sense to simply acknowledge the obvious.

There are, after all, more important issues. Like the size of the ballroom, mass deportation, corruption at the Injustice Department, and the collapse of civilization. No amount of niceness is going to resolve those crises. We’re going to have to fight as if our lives depended on it.

Talk among yourselves!